Fordarb

Theme Song

Profession	Rank	Note
Prospector	Supreme Master
Weaponsmith	Supreme Master
Woodworker	Supreme Master	Woodworker Guild
Kindred with the Woodworker Crafting Guild.
Fordarb was born to a shepherd and a shearer in Dale. His shepherd father would lay with sheep, Fordarb's blind-deaf-mute mother knitting tufts of wool, ripped from her husband's exaltations, into hoof cozies for the flock. By day Fordarb would tend the flock alongside his father, guarding them from rabid gophers and their shepherd hound, Fenrir, who had a penchant for mauling Fordarb and the sheep, and was much feared. Fordarb was uncertain, but thought Fenrir may have in fact been a wolf, but his father would hear none of it. By night, Fordarb was locked in the root cellar and played with potatoes and turnips, reenacting the Battle of Mount Doom told by his father. He made friends with mice and centipedes, though the latter bit him much. At times his father would beat him with dried fish when his mother complained of ruined vegetables. His mother would shear him mistaking his curly locks for fleece, so often that Fordarb was bald by his tenth year. A light sleeper, she would hone her shears on a slate board, producing an ear splitting screech at all times of day and night. Fordarb's home was well known to locals as the 'Screeching Cottage.' His hearing, much diminished, left Fordarb with a speech impediment consisting of nasal vowels and stressed consonants. Growing up, he was considered by most to be an idiot. During the harvest festival of Dale, Fordarb and his father would paint some of the flock with brightly dyed tars and set them alight. The spectacle of darting blue, green and red flames in the autumn night, a hint of mutton in the air, became a local curiosity for much of Fordarb's youth; until the incident with Gandalf's fireworks cart, the burning down of the local granary, and consequent famine that winter. The wizard was never to return. In his late teens, a fracas with Fenrir lead several sheep into the root cellar as his father restocked. Telling his son to get the flock out, Fordarb, his hearing what it was, misunderstood, and left home despondent, never to return. Fordarb made a living putting cotton into potion bottles for an apothecary in Bree. Later, he worked for a glassmith taking the cotton out of expired potion bottles in Achet. Toughened by Fenrir's maulings, his mother's shearings and father's dried fish beatings, Fordarb won many local strongman contests. His dour demeanor led many in Achet to call him wooden, which he mistook for warden, leading to his inquiring into the term. Upon discovering what a warden was, and knowing his aptitude for taking punishment, Fordarb gave up his career as a cottonsmith and took up arms to protect Middle Earth as a warden. His adventures have just begun... MILITARY SERVICE RECORD -Graduate: Leroy Jenkins Academy of Tactics, Bree -Graduate: Imperial Stormtrooper Academy of Marksmanship, Angmar -Graduate: Shire Academy of Mutton and Skewer, Shire -Medal of Defenestration, Moria -Medal of Monotonous Valour, Middle Earth Arachnophobia Society -Mentioned in Dispatches (for noob aggro), North Downs Rangers